Perpetually logged in??

It seems that no matter where I go, I'm logged into myspace. How do I know this? Because as I was standing in line for movie tickets, I got a call from beanie asking me why I'm ignoring her IMs. This is bothersome on a number of levels, least of which is having people think that I'm ignoring them when in fact I am not. Additionally, it seems that I can neither IM nor be IMed...I guess the long and short of it is that if you see me logged in at 5AM, you can rest assured that I'm probably sleeping.

Who is this person?

Every time that I look at the "Cool new people" section (right above the "People that I actually want to see" section) on my home page, I see this person's picture:

Who the hell is she and why is she the most frequent "Cool new person"? Are new people no longer joining myspace thereby leaving the last 100 or so people in some sort of random "Cool new people" holding pattern? Maybe it's something more sinister than that even...am I going mad?

Randomness

Greengrocers' apostrophe

Apostrophes used incorrectly to form plurals are known as greengrocers' apostrophes (also: greengrocer's apostrophes, grocers' apostrophes or grocer's apostrophes, sometimes humorously greengrocers apostrophe's). The term was coined in the United Kingdom where such mistakes are common in the signs and advertisements of greengrocers, e.g. “Apple's and orange's for sale, 50% off”. The practice comes from a widespread ignorance of the use of the apostrophe and the identical sound of the plural and possessive forms of most nouns.

Misguided attempts to get home

Note to self: Make sure that you know where you're going when you decide that you don't want to wait for the G train at 1 AM and walk home. If not you will definitely run into crackheads on dark street corners asking you if you know someone who has a cable box and wants a chip put in it.

You people are turning me into a grumpy old man

Alright ladies and gents this rant goes out to you.

I know that myspace lets you play a tune on your page. Yeah, yeah, yeah we know it makes you an "individual" and it "reflects your unique tastes" but I'm tired of having to press the mute button prior to viewing your pages. There is nothing worst than looking at a page and all of a sudden you're bombarded by the not too sweet sounds of (insert artist name here). Some of you are really out of control and have the myspace music thing going, a video loading and some other random background sound too. People this is too much. Please stop the madness. If not for yourselves, then do it for me.

P.S. This rivals my "stop sending me those stupid chain emails" email of June 2003. Some things change, some things stay the same.

The plight of the occassional smoker

As I walked home tonight from a meeting with a very powerful "new media" company (OK, it was a friend's production company....and a damn fine one too), I found myself craving a cigarette. Since I smoked my last today and decided that I would not buy another pack I found myself searching for a loosie. What's a loosie you ask? Well my dear readers, a loosie is a single cegarette sold for 50 cents at a bodega. Nine times out of ten, this cigarette is a Newport. Why a Newport?...well, that's just the way it is. Keep in mind, as you read the remainder of this entry, that selling loosies is illegal as fuck. Although not as illegal as selling heroin or ass, their sale still falls in the realm of the illegal. Thus, as I entered one bodega on Myrtle Ave. and asked "Do you guys sell loosies?", my question was acknowledged with a swift look from the counter guy that said "you might be a cop" and a reply of "No." Disheartened but not discouraged, I continued on to the next bodega. At this one, I decided that I would attempt a more "urban" approach so I walk into the store and attemp to "ice grill" this counter attendant while proclaiming in a somewhat self-indulgent way "Yo, I need a loosie". Now, I have to say that I can only imagine that my "ice grill" came off as more of a feeble attempt at a glower that an outright scowl. This being the case, he merely brushed me off with a "I ain't got no loosies now." On to the next store. This one was a guaranteed thing as I had bought loosies from this store before and have developed something of a rapport with the staff there. The problem with buying from this store is twofold. First, they always sell you 100s which usually take at least a block and a half to smoke. This highlights the second problem; the store is only half a block from my apartment.

How the hangover stole Christmas and why you should give your ex a vibrator

Let me start by recounting Christmas eve. I probably should have followed beanie's lead and went to church. Unfortunaltey, I wasn't in the mood to burst into flames that night so I went out with Naomi and Taz. Mistake number one (albeit a good one). Next came the Zhiguly Grand 9.5 which I saw advertised outside of a bodega. 99 cents for half a litre of beer? Sounded like an excellent idea to me. And thus began the roller coaster ride.

After about 1 and a half of these (oh, the 9.5 means 9.5lcohol), a couple of Sam Adams, some chocolate (which I should have known would kick me in the ass in the morning), and a room full of pot smokers, I was ready to go. Worst part was that it was only around midnight. Either way, I woke up on Christmas morning and felt as if I were getting over a hangover so I ate some food and got ready to go visit the fam. I had no way of knowing that Johnny Hangover had other plans for me after my night of crapulence. By noon, I was back in bed and finally had the sense to take some medicine around 3 which, for the record, did absolutely nothing. Add to this the constant ringing of the phone (I felt bad about turning it off and was somewhat interested to see who would call) and my inability to throw up and you can get a pretty good idea of what happened.

Keep in mind now that I usually don't have a problem having sex with the exes but there comes a point where you have to reflect on these things. That point came tonight when I was having sex and was more interested in what was going on outside my window than in my bed. As a general rule, I think that it might be a good idea to end relationships where the sex wasn't all that great with the gift of some sort of self-pleasuring aparatus. In this way, if sex ever comes up all that you need to say is something along the lines of "oh, what happened to that vibrator that I gave you?" Please don't get me wrong, sex isn't everything in a relationship but more that a few have been built on sex alone. Either way, there won't be any of that business going on in 2006.

Update five minuted later:
Oh, to all of the people that called or texted me today, thank you for you kindness and I'll get back to you today.

Strike Over!?!?!?

Well, the TWU has decided that they'll go back to work and back to the negotiating table with the MTA. I'll be glad to be able to get around again but if the pension issue is supposed to be dealt with in the State Legislature, then it seems like the union is back to the 3/4/3 offer that the MTA initially gave them. So what was the point of the whole thing??? Any one care to answer that for me?

More strike fun!!!

So, as any of you who know me know, I change my mind more often than a 42nd street hooker drops her drawers. Instead of heading into Brooklyn to look at the TWU picket lines, I went shopping for Christmas gifts. When I got to Target and spoke to one of their workers who was riding the elevator with me (nothing like a captive audience!), I discovered that they were paying for their employees rides there and back home. Unfortunately, there weren't too many employees there. This I discovered from a supervisor who was lamenting about her lack of staff...maybe this is an everyday thing though because I saw more than a few groups of Target elves hanging about. Either way, I've decided to stop and get my drink on in Park Slope after which I will return home to recharge and come out for more fun. Drink up ladies and gents, it's going to be a long one!!!

The cop in the foreground looked at me like she wanted to frisk me after I took this picture. Luckily there was a guy soliciting illegal cab fares that seemed a bit more appealing to her.

An empty Target is my dream come true...

Pumas + 24 degree weather = Back at home

So I went outside and after walking around for a couple of blocks and seeing a couple of quite interesting thigs (mostly people standing at bus stops) I realised that my toes were frozen. As you know, my body pretty much shuts down once the temperature goes below 90. That being said, I came back home to put on my industrial strength Napolean Dynamite moon boots (hot shit). Anyway, I'm going back out, here's a picture of someone with a bike.

Off to the picket lines...

Transit Strike...Time to go drink!!!

OK kiddies, as I'm sure that you know (and you in particular Beanie...sorry but there's nothing like some 5AM gloating) the MTA is on strike. So for all of you that would be going to work today you will most likely be heading to your nearest local bars. Thankfully for me, I live within walking distance of Williamsburg so I'll be able to hit a couple of cool places. Additionally, I'll probably be able to meet a couple of transit workers at the Turkeys Nest tavern. Here's a quote that I got from my boy (and fellow Trini (no one call me on that)) Roger Toussaint who, if you don't know, is the President of the TWU:

Dec. 20 - With a one billion dollar surplus contract between the MTA and Transport Workers Union Local 100 should have been a no brainier. Sadly that has not been the case.

Our contract expired midnight on Thursday. In an attempt to save Mass Transit an in deference to our riders, we postponed our deadline and attempted to continue talking to the MTA.

From the beginning, the MTA approached these negotiations in bad faith, demanding arbitration before even trying to resolve the contract. Hours before contract expiration, the MTA got rid of its one billion dollar surplus -- a surplus which we believe continues to be understated by some one hundred million dollars.

The MTA knew that reducing health and pension standards at the authority would be unacceptable to our union. They knew there was no good economic reason for their hard line on this issue - not with a billion dollar surplus. They went ahead anyway, supported by the Bloomberg administration which wants to overrun Municipal Labor Unions and all City workers with down pressed wages and gutted health benefits and pension plans.

This has been combined with continued attempts by the MTA, joined by the Governor and the Mayor, to intimidate and threaten our members and their families.

This is a fight over whether hard work will be rewarded with a decent retirement -- over the erosion or eventual elimination of health benefit coverage for working people. And it is a fight over dignity and respect on the job. A concept that is very alien to the MTA. Transit workers are tired at being under appreciated and disrespected.

The Local 100 Executive Board has voted overwhelmingly to extend strike action to all MTA properties effective immediately.

All Local 100 representatives and shop stewards are directed to report to their assigned strike locations picket lines or facility nearest you immediately.

To our riders, we ask for your understanding forbearance. We stood with you to keep token booths open, to keep conductors on the train and oppose fare hikes. We now ask that you stand with us. We did not want a strike. Evidently the MTA, governor and the Mayor did.

We call on all good will New Yorkers, the Labor Community, and all working people to recognize that our fight is their fight, and to rally in our support with solidarity activities and events. And to show the MTA that TWU does not stand alone.

-Roger Toussaint, President, TWU Local 100

OK, I'm going out to take some pics of walkers. More later today...

Anyone want to get together today???

Baby stores

I'm going to a friend's baby shower on Sunday so in typical Richard Lewis fashion, I wait until the last minute to get a gift. "Wait," you say, "it's not Sunday yet!!! You still have three days to get the gift!!!" Well, due to the impending MTA strike, it might as well be Sunday because I'll be damned if I'm going to pay $50 to get to Babies'r'us when I'm only getting a $40 gift. So it is Sunday fucker!!!

Either way, once I got there and had the 12 page registry printed out for me (complete with pictureless descriptions that were limited to about 12 characters) I proceeded to make a guess as to what might be a reasonable gift to give at a baby shower. Since I have been to these before (I know because I remember the hangovers the next morning (damn those open bars)), I decided that any sensible pregnant woman would want a bunch of receiving blankets, which is not to say that that's all that I got but that that one was a given. Anyway, Beanie had to potty so I had to wait and decided to wander around the strollers. This was like a little car dealership. They had like 50 different models, from really shitty cloth and aluminum ones to titanium 16 wheel monster strollers complete with air conditioned cab for baby. The sales people in this section were also the elite of the whole babies'r'us crew (and also the only ones who had their shirts ironed). I saw one guy trying to sell one woman a stroller with a little battery operated motor that would not only push the baby but had a platform upon which she could stand too...

Next episode, the Century 21 wolfpack...

Dolla dolla bill y'all

More adventures in BedStuy...

So I decided to go to the dollar store yesterday which made me realize that I love nothing more than to frolic in the 18 inch wide aisles while being able to calculate the total in my head (saves me from embarrassment at the counter when I realise that I'm about $27 short). Either way, when I was living in queens I guess that I didn't realise what I was missing. After about 20 minutes of patrolling the aisles I left with about $12 worth of stuff but since it's the dollar store, I only paid $6. It's a good thing that they don't have carts or anything there because I would have ended up buying all kinds of foolishness; knockoff Foreman grills, high chairs, telephone cables, usb Christmas trees, walkmen, bed pans, fabuloso, babies, etc.

Last time that I went there I was looking for a corkscrew/bottle opener. Once the guy finally located it for me and pulled it off the wall with the ubiquitous "store claw" (you know, the one that they used to sell at science museums that let you reach up for things and clip them by pulling the trigger) I had the good sense to ask the counter guy how much it cost. Dude looked at me as if to say "did you miss the big sign out front that said 99 cents?"

I may not be the smartest but I know where to get the crazy deals.

Tomorrow the roti shop (all my trinis holla (that's you Naomi)!!)

Senior Citizen

So I'm talking to Beanie today about going to see a movie. As I'm looking at the listings it suddenly strikes me that there could be no difference between the senior citizen and normal tickets that you buy from the kiosk....I feel an experiment brewing.

I'm the Grinch

I finally made it out of my house this morning after waking up at 5 am and being shocked by the tons of coke snow that had accumulated in the back yard last night. So after a quick 45 minute scrub-a-dub I throw on some clothes and decide to put some new 'choons on the old mp3 cube of death. Unfortunately, I decided to use windows media player (I know, why the hell would I do that...i don't know. I was still in shock). 20 minutes later, I'm out and about and make it to the Kellog diner (the hottest diner to go to if you're an MTA worker who just has to get your daily fix of overpriced internet access while sipping a day old cup of joe) and they're playing Christmas music. It's fucking December 4th!!! Am I overreacting or is this just a bit too early for this?


I remember when you wouldn't hear a Christmas tune until the week before Christmas. Now, they're probably playing this madness right after halloween!! Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas as much as the next secular humanist but this is too much. Alright, my rant is now complete.

For those of you who are thinking of getting me something for the upcoming international holiday spending spree, I have two words for you: Gift Certificate. Where to you ask?

• Paypal (alright, it isn't exactly a gift certificate but it isn't money either so you won't come across as gauche).
• eBay (notice that I'm trying to amass some cash here).
• H & M if you must.

Also, please make sure to send me your requests in a timely manner or else your ass will end up with a brand spankin' new osterizer (yeah, hot shit)